BMW Beast, Ford Failure, and Bugatti Loses It's &*@#ing Mind.

First off...

A Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you all, dear readers! Or, for any of you in Canada or Europe, Happy Belated Regular Thursday! And let's not forget, to all you Native readers, Happy Belated Genocidal White Invaders Day! Let's jump into it, shall we?

The Good

The BMW M6 is here!! Well, the M6 has actually been out for a while, but not like this. Those crazy Germans at AC Schnitzer tuning company have just released their take on the newer F12/F13 M6, and they have a laundry list of fun tweaks available. On the cosmetics side, their M6 comes geared up with new, aerodynamically sculpted front and back fascias as well as side skirts (made of lightweight carbon fiber, of course). You also get flared fender arches for that nice aggressive look, new forward mounted side vents and four sweet looking 20 inch deep-dish racing rims. Cosmetics aside, they have also tinkered about with the engine. All non-performance parts have been swapped out with lighter,  race-oriented tech-goodies taking their place. The standard twin-turbocharged 4.4 liter V8 has been upped to a massive 6.0 liter twin-turbo behemoth and comes with a complimentary high-output max flow exhaust system that will shake the heavens and shatter champagne glasses with a liberal helping of pedal stomping. Prices are on a call as needed basis, so it won't come cheap. Somehow, I feel that the added smiles and adrenaline that come with the AC Schnitzer package will be worth it. 

The Bad

Oh Ford, you can't just a good thing go on for too long, can you? That right dear readers, I am sorry to announce that after a brilliant run of powerful yet affordable Mustang muscle, Ford has decided to spit once again in our collective eye. The planned 2015 Ford Mustang is an exercise in practicality, blandness and disappointment. An updated body style clumsily meshes muscular lines with a chunky, Ford Fusion-esque hood and face, and a grille from a baby Aston Martin. When will they understand that modern isn't always better? The Mustang has always been a classic because it stubbornly refuses to learn new tricks. It knows how to go fast in straight lines, and it belongs to those types of people who treat every stoplight as an obligation to race the mini-van full of children to the next light. What's worse is that Ford has decided to effectively neuter the base model, dropping the standard V6 and putting in a (this will tough to read, and I encourage the weak of heart to stop now) FOUR CYLINDER ECOBOOST powerplant. Sure, it's got a turbo on it, but let's be real, that is the automotive equivalent of feeding a quadriplegic a bottle of Viagra. You might feel something happening if you close your eyes and focus rreeaalllyyy hard, but ultimately you have accomplished nothing. For the love of all that is holy, pull up Ford, PULL UP!

   The Ugly

You have all heard the expression "Like letting a bull in a China shop". Bugatti ( along with a company famous for making tea-pots) has decided to up those stakes by creating a bull made out of fine China. At 1,000 bhp, this particular bull happens to be on methamphetamine. The Bugatti Veyron L'Or Blanc is a standard Veyron layout that has a body made out of porcelain. This special one-off creation clocks in at a staggering 1.6 million dollars, which quite frankly is about 1.6 million dollars too much for the world's most fragile (and probably un-insurable) car. Suddenly, speed bumps become a war crime. A hard breeze might as well be a terrorist with an AK-47. Hell, even starting this car without some sort of disaster occurring has worse odds than playing a normal game of Russian Roulette. This thing is a Faberge egg strapped to an artillery shell.