Russian Arms Race, Ford Makes Fireballs, and Mercedes-Benz Makes Hotwheelz

The Good 
The car world is much like a real world arms race. Some companies have been riding the highest technological waves since the beginning, dominating the automotive world in terms of performance  innovation and creativity. Others have struggled to keep pace, but have managed to keep themselves firmly planted in up-to-date design and out-of-the-box invention. Some have been lost in the proverbial Stone-Age, barely figuring out that just because it has four wheels and an engine doesn't mean it qualifies as a car. So, dear readers, I am pleased to announce that our comrades in Russia have finally tossed aside their bronze swords in favor of steel ones. In this case, 420 horsepower steel. The reds have thrown their bets on the table in the form of the Marussia B2, a $310,000 hunk of brute, Cold-War power. Designed to look like (apparently) a cross between a MiG-17 fighter and a granite-jawed Spetznaz operator, the B2 comes in a 300 bhp flavor thanks to a 3.5 liter engine sourced from Nissan, or the obviously superior 420 bhp twin turbo Cosworth lump ( remember kids, more power equal better in my personal dictionary). Not too much is known about this sexy beast as it it currently in prototype stages, but it certainly looks the part of supercar contender!

The Bad

Ok, first off, I swear that I am not picking on Ford. In fact, I love a lot of the work that Ford has done as an automotive company. It's just that, you know... Ford has a tendency to cock things up in a really bad way sometimes. What could they have done that would land them in the "Bad" section for the second day running? Try the massive recall order they were forced to send out recalls for 89,000 of their 2013 Escapes and Fusions, after it was discovered that many of the models with Ford's 1.6 liter 4 banger engines in them had a slight pre-disposition to overheating. Overheating, in this instance, means that they like to unexpectedly erupt into unconrollable fires. Ford had yet to determine the cause of this little oversight, but they have issued a warning. Anyone who is driving a 2013 Ford Escape or Ford Fusion (with the 1.6 liter engine), please be on the lookout for these messages popping up on your instrument cluster; "Engine Power Reduced to Lower Temps" or "Engine over temp, stop safely". If you see either one of these messages, pull over, call AAA and get that thing checked out. Or risk scorching off your lower body and drive it to your dealership. I'm not your mother, so make your own calls I guess.

The Ugly

Wow. Has anyone besides myself noticed the disturbing trend in the automotive world where designers seem to be on a mission  to make cars exclusively for the Hotwheelz collection? Seriously, look at the new-gen Camaro, the new-gen Challenger, the 2015 Mustang, ect. Do  you know who was behind the design of each of those cars? I certainly don't, but whoever it was, they seem to venting crushed childhood dreams into their designs. Pictured below is the Mercedes-Benz Ener-G-Force (SEE!?! WHO ELSE CLUMSILY NAMES A CAR SOMETHING THAT ABSURD IF NOT A SIX YEAR OLD??)  concept. Two things you might notice right away. First, it is god-awful fugly. It is a Hummer with a Merc nose, a completely useless ski-rack on the roof, and what is either a line of windshield mounted trail-lights or a row of air cannons which you can use to pummel your friends with a barrage of comically over-sized Nerf darts. Hey, just look at this thing. You know that makes all the sense in the world. Second, yes, those gargantuan wheels are made out of the same hard plastic that your sister had on her pink Malibu Barbie Powerwheels Corvette. This is due in large part to the Ener-G-Force being a concept car in the purest sense. It is HIGHLY unlikely that this car will ever see a production run. Yes this car has some cool features, like a self-mapping topography system that maps out the terrain and adjusts the suspension accordingly, or like each wheel hub having it's own independent electric motor for when you need to navigate some really tough terrain, or like a conceptualized engine that runs on nothing but water vapor and gets 500 miles a tank... Fine, you got me, all of that sounds pretty awesome. But, Mercedes, if you ever implement any of those neat little gizmos, try your best to stick them in a car that wasn't dreamed up by someone who still watches the Power Rangers.